If you’ve landed on my blog know this is a true authentic expression of me; “warts and all”. I’ve decided not to worry about spelling mistakes, grammar or how anything sounds because if I did this would never get written.

I heard travelling is a good way of getting to know yourself. I’m starting to understand why. It’s not just been about being alone. It’s the experiences encountered along the way. It took a certain amount of resilience to leave the comfort of my own home, at 51 years old, and dive right into the unknown, on a budget, without knowing what my future holds. I am so glad I have done this and I wanted to write about some of the small challenges that have happened so far and the things that have amused me from staying in Airbnb.

As I sit writing this I have just arrived at my latest Airbnb and to say I am freaking out is an understatement. The accommodation is OK but its cold!! The guy who owns the place has one tiny heater on twice a day for 1 hour. The heater is located in the kitchen so the bathroom and bedroom are not heated at all.

update: I ended up going to Home Bargains and getting something called a cube. It heats, cools and has a fan so I am sorted for life. This little implement will go wherever I go.

Here’s the thing I’ve discovered about Airbnb. When you leave a review the owner has to approve it before it is posted so you’re not going to get to hear about things like this.

Laundry; Eh how to dry clothes! This is by far the biggest challenge so far, travelling now the weather isn’t great. I’m learning to wash when I arrive at a place as clothes take 2 days to dry plus there is never anywhere to hang them. I’ve done many a work video call now with my undies hung on the door knob behind me. Thank goodness for that blurry background you can create on these calls.

Different types of washing up implements. This has amused me. Some provide brushes for the dishes and some sponges with scouring pads on them. In the last place I had a jay clothe. It ended up getting overly soapy and I couldn’t effectively clean anything, especially a frying pan. The bowls in sinks amuse me too. Everywhere has them! How on earth do you wash a pan with that in the way? So I remove the bowl and the kitchen ends up like an obstacle course around me. Emptying them isn’t easy either. I was so excited when one had a kind of plug in the bottom to empty it without tipping it up. If I ever get one in the future I’ll need to find out who sells these. Probably one of those magazines that gets posted through the door or a home shopping channel. Please let me know if you see one.

Parking – I have 6 big bags with me. Yeah I know. I have tried to do the minimal thing 🤣 In my last place I had to make 6 trips across a busy toad on a bend. I am surprised I’m still alive to write this.

Toilet roll – nobody leaves enough and I’m beginning to wonder if this is me as it’s been such a consistent thing wherever I have stayed.

Cookers – Who knew there were so many varieties and setting off smoke alarms has become a specialty of mine. Then I panic. What about the neighbours. How do I turn this one off? The tea towel comes out for wafting and the windows get flung open.

Pillows – I brought my own pillow to begin with and then after a couple of places I threw it in a dump. (One less thing to pack) I never knew there was so much variety. Some are as thin as teabags and the one I have just now is so hard and think I’m not sure my neck is going to survive. I’m thinking of practicing going pillowless, if that’s even a word. And then there’s the mattress….

Showers – Some are great, some are just drips of water. Some provide shampoo, etc and some don’t. I now get very excited when there’s a bath. More and more the small things are making me happy and the less I have the less stressed I am becoming.

Having written all this my main experiences have been great. They’ve been varied and some I have preferred more than others but mostly great. I’ve learned a lot about myself and what I may want in the future. I’m realising what I can live without and what I absolutely can’t live without. I’m loving my daily dose of nature, after work, whether that’s a beach or the countyside.

I hope you’re enjoying hearing about my journey. Thank you for reading my words . All points of view are accepted here. If your point of view is different to mine then please try not to judge me as mine may be different tomorrow too. I would love to hear about your journey too 🤍

If you’ve landed on my blog know this is a true authentic expression of me; “warts and all”. I’ve decided not to worry about spelling mistakes, grammar or how anything sounds because if I did this would never get written.

I’ve been “thinking” about emotions a lot recently and I hope I have the courage to publish this once I’ve written it. When I set off on my road trip I knew there would be emotions to feel and I also knew there would be value in doing that. I’ve been away just over a month now and I can honestly say that when it comes to the range of emotions I have felt it has definitely been a roller coaster ride. I’ve had times where I have stayed inside and cried my way through most of the day, I’ve been angry when I’ve come up against situations I did’t know how deal with and joy when I have visited the stunning beaches of Wales.

I realised that I had been viewing emotions as good and bad and wonder why that is; after all they’re all emotions. For some reason I thought anger and sadness were bad emotions and joy and peace were good emotions. This is not how I am viewing emotions these days. I see them more as a barometer that help show me what is going on with me. These days when I stop, breathe and sit with the emotion that is arising, and allow it to pass through me, I always find there’s valuable insights and information waiting there inside of me.

I haven’t always had a healthy relationship with my emotions. Up until two years ago I would suppress what I termed as bad emotions. I spent most of my adult life doing this, which resulted in denial. I wasn’t in touch with myself and my needs and I realise now that the more I resisted my feelings the unhappier I became. At that time I thought that positive thinking would make things better and the sadness I was feeling deep down would go away.

In July of 2018 I was working with a colleague who recognised how lost I was and she convinced me to go for some CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy). I had no idea what this was and I knew I needed to do something so off I went to get what I thought would be a “quick fix”. Fast forward having seen a psychotherapist for two years and I now realise how naive I was at the time. During those two years with the help and compassion I received from this psychotherapist I learned to stop suppressing my emotions and feel them. The type of therapy she used was person centred and I was able to discover my own solutions. The emotions I experienced at the time felt very intense to me and there were times when I could barely function in my daily life. I would say to her “I don’t know what to do” and she would just say “sit with the shit”. This became my mantra for a while and in doing so I came to understand my own needs. I listened to the parts of me that had been screaming out for my attention for many many years and I was able to finally see why I was so unhappy. My life has changed beyond recognition, both inside and out, since I first walked into that room and asked for help, and I will forever be grateful for the safe environment which enabled me to get in touch with myself.

During Lockdown, when I was furloughed from work, I decided to do a diploma in Transformational Coaching. There were 5 modules to this course and in order to pass we needed to do 40 hours of practice coaching. I chose this particular course because the teachings were around client centred work and I wanted to “pay forward” the help I had recieved. I have loved every minute of this course and during the modules have been triggered so many times I have lost count. I have come to realise the richness of the experience was enhanced by the willingness of myself and my fellow students to show our emotions and be vulnerable. Transformational coaching is different to therapy in that the client comes with a goal and the time is spent focusing on the clients own thoughts, challenges, outcomes and goals. It’s a powerful way of exploring beliefs and values and how these are shaping our experiences of life, and our behaviours. It’s an honour to coach people and again it’s the sessions when they are emotional and reveal their true inner feelings that they have insights and haha moments.

I am now working with a coach myself. We are 8 weeks into this journey and his teachings have yet again enhanced my experience of life through feeling my emotions. His main focus is practicing presence, breathing and releasing the emotions. At first when I started working with him I would become totally overwhelmed. I would let the emotions that were arising completely consume me and at times I literally felt I could die with the intensity of sadness I felt. I am going through a seperation and selling our family home so it’s fair to say that I had some intense feelings to process. He kept encouraging me to feel the emotions arising and would say that these feelings were not bottomless. He would encourage me to practice sitting, relaxing my shoulders and breathing deeply and then when the emotions came to sit there in presence and let them dissolve. Now this sounds simple and yet at first it wasn’t easy. I trusted him though and persevered. I practiced coming to the present moment whenever I remembered and I also practiced breathing deeper and deeper. Now I am a couple of months into this and when I notice an emotions arise, like anger, sadness or fear, I am able to breathe and release the emotion without total overwhelm.

I have now felt peace for the first time in my life and I know it is because I have been able to release a lifetime of emotions that were trapped inside of me. I have been able to accept and come to terms with past traumatic events and love myself through the memories rather than deny those parts of myself. I am able to look within myself and listen to my own inner compass rather than look outside myself for answers. I now realise how suppressing these emotions was clouding my vision and therefore I wasn’t able to make informed choices that were in my best interest. I’ve come to realise that when I bring myself to the present moment and allow the emotions that are arising to pass through me I can then look at life from a place of peace and make decisions based on what I prefer, rather than how I am feeling in that moment.

None of the above was what I expected to write when I decided to create this title. In truth the only reason I got the courage to write this is because I am part of a mentors group and I set my challenge of the week to finally blog about emotions. I woke up this morning and realised that we are meeting again tonight and I didn’t want to have to say I hadn’t done it. So here goes…I’m not even going to edit this or check for mistakes….I’m going to press that publish button and “feel the fear”

I hope you’re enjoying hearing about my journey and thank you for reading my words. All points off view are accepted here If your point of view is different to mine then please try not to judge me as mine may be different tomorrow too. I would love to hear about your journey too

If you’ve landed on my blog know this is a true authentic expression of me; “warts and all”. I’ve decided not to worry about spelling mistakes, grammar or how anything sounds because if I did this would never get written.

That’s me 10 days into my journey now. I’m currently sat in my 4th accommodation which is a caravan on a farm

I decided right from the outset that I wouldn’t plan this journey and I would live what I call “in the flow”. I came across this concept a few years back when I read a book called The Surrender Experiment. The author, Michael Singer, decided to no longer let his personal fears and desires dictate his life but to simply surrender to what life had in store. This whole idea fascinates me and I have decided to give it a go.

With this in mind I didn’t book my first accommodation until two days before I left or any other subsequent accommodation. One of my friends was “freaking out” and I felt her relief when I messaged her to say “that’s me booked somewhere now”. I am so glad that I didn’t have a plan because the last 10 days have been very humbling, surprising and perfect.

As I write this, it’s a good reminder for me because this morning I had got carried away with worrying thoughts and forgotten about my own philosophy. I have been caught up in the what, ifs and buts but yet I know when I just “live in the flow” everything just works out perfectly.

So what do I mean by this; it’s about living in the moment knowing this is all we have and trusting that life will unfold perfectly just as it should. It’s about when the mind goes off on it’s diversions, as the human mind does, bringing it back to the present moment. This way we can create and get inspiration from what is now.

And because I didn’t plan; I posted my blog and so many old friends reached out to me which meant I could go and stay in the places I use to live and connect with them. (Under current guidelines). If I had booked my accommodation in advance and planned then I would have missed out on the adventures I’ve had during the last 10 days.

I hope I can keep going with this mindset as I can truly say it’s been very rewarding.

I hope you’re enjoying hearing about my journey. Thank you for reading my words . All points of view are accepted here. If your point of view is different to mine then please try not to judge me as mine may be different tomorrow too. I would love to hear about your journey too 🤍

6 weeks and 2 days of lockdown is plenty of time to spend observing yourself and your own behaviour.

At the start of all this I kept hearing the term furlough and had no idea what that even was until I did a google search. Then it happened to me. In true nature of a self help addict I decided to make the best of my circumstances and had all these grand plans about what I was going to do and how I was going to change my life. I was going to draw up a schedule with self help courses I’d purchased over the years, do yoga and other fitness programmes and lots of self development learning. Needless to say that it has not worked out this way and I have actually learned far more about myself by not doing these things.

Within the first week after beating myself up a little I decided to do something a bit different. I decided that this may be the only chance before I retire that I get a chance to just be. To be able to practice being in the moment and live day by day rather than all this planning and doing that I have done all of my adult life.

My circumstances are not ideal just now so living in the now could have been quite a challenge for me. I am living with my ex husband after splitting up over a year ago and our two grown up children have moved back in with us.

Surprisingly, by living this way, I have been able to find beauty in each day. I have learned more about myself than I ever thought possible.

I’m thankful that I spent all those years reading and listening to the self help stuff, as I have been able to put parts into action, which I only understood on a theory level before. So for example when someone in my household triggers me and I get angry or upset I’ve been able to get my journal out and examine what’s going on with me? It’s been quite a surprise sometimes and I have unearthed many things going on with me on a deeper level.

Each morning, whilst furloughed, I wake up and say to myself “so how are you Joanne. What feels right today?” And even though there’s been no concrete plans something is achieved in every day and I get to enjoy it so much more…

#selfhelp #spitituality #divinewoman #empowered